Klaus came home from the doctor
He wasn’t very happy
His mom was crying
He told me he had tumor in his head
The doctor said it was as big as a lemon
It wasn’t good
We sat in silence for a minute or two
I said
“At least it’s not as big as an orange’
He smiled
Then I said
‘Or as big as a grapefruit’
And he giggled a little
Then I said
‘Or a watermelon’
And then the two of us really laughed
And we went thru all the food groups
Just imagining his tumor being different food sizes
And laughing and laughing and laughing
Then Klaus went quiet
His eyes rolled back into his head
And he collapsed
He lay totally still
I waited a minute
It was weird and way too quiet
So I left and went to the mall
And wandered around looking at food

I was always one of those kids
That phoned their parents
Whenever something new or good or exciting happened
That all ended when I was leaving the trailer park
And I phoned them and said
I spent my Christmas money on a dirty old prostitute
I don’t talk to my parents much anymore

I loved this superhero
I found the comic book lying by the curb one day
He was kind of an alternative superhero
Not as popular as Batman or Superman
But he was an awesome superhero
He had one problem or weakness, all superhero’s do
He had to masturbate in order to release his superpowers
He could fly, he was super strong, he was fast as fast
The only problem was that if he had a busy day
He sometimes would call it quits because he was too tired
To bring on his super powers
And so some villains would get away
And it was embarrassing for him sometimes because
People would yell at him to help them
And he’d be a little embarrassed because of the masturbating thing
Especially if he couldn’t run behind a tree or kneel down behind a big couch
And he hated when it was a false alarm, that was always tough
But he had a good heart and he liked kids