I was standing on the platform
The train was leaving
She was leaving
We had a year of crazy love
She was everything to me
My heart was bursting with despair
She was going to the mountains
To a clinic
To help her with her speech impediment
Her ‘t’s always sounded like ‘s’s
The train started to move
I started to run with it
I could see her at the window
Watching me running
Her soul flooding with tears
I could see her mouthing my name over and over
Somas, Somas
Of course my name was Thomas and she always struggled with that
As the train started going faster and faster
I expected I’d drop off and she would be gone
But I realized that I was keeping up
I realized that the train was now going at full speed
And I was running along right beside it
People were noticing it
I realized something I had never realized before
I had super human speed
I could run as fast as the train!
People were now going crazy and taking pictures and videos
She was watching realizing that we would be together
As my speed was endless and I’d just run forever
I was thinking along a little different path
At this point I realized my potential for stardom
And that I was going to be a hero
‘The Flash’
And I slowed down and turned and ran like lightening back to the station
Forgetting about her
And realizing that fame and fortune awaited me
And soon my heart was bursting with anticipation
With the new people I was going to meet
And I’d soon be dating a supermodel
Who could pronounce my name the right way
She’ll be fine
Up there in the cold mountains
Her tongue twisting painfully in her mouth
Spitting out words with ‘t’s in them
Maybe we’ll cross paths again
If I go hiking in mountains with my supermodel friend ‘Theresa’
That would be fun

Leprechauns are the best
Because when you trap them
They always talk right away
You don’t have to use that much force or even heat up the fire for long
They just tell you what you need to know
That’s why I have a basement full of pots of gold
I could have retired long ago
But I love to hunt the little bastards
At first they are so cocky and happy and they dance the jig when they see you
And then they see the crossbows and the heavy throw nets
And they know it’s all over
They’re fast but with little feet like that you can only get so far
And you catch them and they think that after they talk
You’ll let them go
But the demand for their meat in some of the southern states
Makes them too valuable to release back to the wild

We were all down at the beach
Taking the day and just goofing around
Danny, Lonny, Terry, Billy, Suzie and I
Just goof’n and chill’n
Suzie was really flirting a lot with me
And Lonny almost killed himself playing among the big rocks
On the way home we stopped for ice cream floats
And we glided our bikes down the big hill
No hands on the handle bars
I waved goodbye to them all from the front porch
Invisible friends are the best
You don’t have to worry about inviting them in
And having to tell them why your dad is dressed like a woman
And why your mom never leaves the basement
And why your dog has human feet

We were at the county fair
I was stepping onto the roller coaster
I sat down and realized I was sitting beside Klaus Larkfield
He was trying to set the world record
For riding the coaster for the most consecutive days
He had one more day to go
58 days so far…58 long days
I buckled myself in and turned to Klaus
He turned and looked at me
His eyes were bloodshot
His hair was matted and full of bits of food, paper and dirt
His lips were chapped
His face puffy and sun burnt
He was having trouble focusing
‘One more day..’ he mumbled to me
And then he curled up into his blanket
The blanket smelt of old leaves and wet towels
I think I saw some blood in his ears
The ride started
I was excited
Up the long slope…slowly slowly
Klaus started to whimper a little
We seemed to stop just for a second at the top
It was almost as if we weren’t going to make it
But then we started to drop
Klaus let out a moan like a lion dying
We dropped at a tremendous speed
I raised my hands, exhilarated
Klaus’s head lolled back and forth
His mouth foaming at the edges
We whipped into a sharp right turn
I leaned into Klaus
He felt frail and broken under the blanket
And the smell of stale urine was suddenly very strong
58 days without leaving the seat
Klaus was a dedicated rider
His head snapped about wildly
I looked at him as I grasped the bar in front of me
Blood was pouring from his mouth
I think he must have bitten his tongue
Around the loop d’ loop
His face cracked on the safety bar
I heard his nose break
Around a severe a left turn and then violently up and down
We pushed on
His head fell on my shoulder
I pushed it away
Before we plummeted into an upside down twist
His left arm came out from under the blanket and flailed about wildly
It hit one of the support beams as we whipped into the tunnel
Suddenly back out into the light
I saw that his hand had been cut clean off
I looked back at the riders behind
They were oblivious to the shower of blood that had covered them
They were all screaming with delight
Up again..up…up…up
I looked over at Klaus
He was in a completely lost state
‘One ma ay’ he said trying to speak without his half his tongue
Then we started down again
He looked at his severed arm, trying to focus
He started to cry
‘Mu and mu and’ he yelled
I knew it was over
We had the double drop and twist to go
We hit it a full throttle
Klaus was not going to make it
His head slammed twice into the side of the metal seat
He was a bobble head doll gone crazy
I was just trying to hold on yet I was sickly fascinated with Klaus
We came to a jerky slow down
And the ride finally ended
Klaus was dead
There was no doubt
I covered him with the blanket
And got out when the operator lifted the safety bar
‘How’s the Klausman doing?’ he asked
‘He’s tired’ I said
And I walked away from the roller coaster
And gorged myself on candyfloss
Until I passed out behind the ferris wheel