I saw her and knew I had to meet her
Once she met me she would love me
And we'd be together forever and ever and ever and ever
She was pulling out in her car
I'd just bump her car a little, enough that' she would stop
This was my chance, I had been waiting for hours
I hit the gas
I guess I was a little too excited
The impact was more than I expected
I got out and started laughing quite loud
I was walking towards her door
‘That was a little bump wasn’t it?’
‘No big deal, I’m really sorry, I can cover everything?’
I sounded so confident, so in control, so cool
Then I looked in her car window
Her face obviously smashed pretty hard against the steering wheel
And I could smell burning coffee
She looked up at me
Her face was melting with first degree burns from a coffee she must have been drinking
She started to scream
A horrid disfigured mouth emitting this awful sound like an animal just before it dies
I ran back to my car and drove away
She was in no condition to remember anything about me
Forget about coffee face, she’s history
I saw my new love today
She rides her bike everyday
I’ll just bump her with the car
Nothing serious, just a tap
And we’ll be together for ever and ever and ever
Life really is grand some times
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Idea for a short film
The long shot from camera one is of the outside of a high end cigar shop
Parked in front of the shop
Are a Mercedes sports car, a Hummer and a BMW Suv
Camera pans in
3 men sit on chairs smoking cigars
Kent Deacon is a large man but fit with a flat top buzz cut
Darren Jones has long hair, a little too long for his age and likes gold chains
Tony Spackola is heavy, and hairy and has a pencil moutstache, he sweats a lot
All the men seem to be enjoying their cigars
Kent puffs on his ‘Sandinista’ made fresh, from Cuba
They begin to talk
Kent: You guys ever have trouble with your pubic hair designs?
Darren: I gave up on it long ago, had a Brazilian and I’m done with it
Tony: Every day Kent, I struggle to find the time to work on it
Kent: I just don’t like going to the shop to have it done. I like to do it myself
I’ve shaved a beautiful heart but it took most of the morning and the kids were pounding on the bathroom door yelling at me to hurry up ..we were late for soccer but I think it looks great!
The men continue to smoke and watch people pass by.
Darren: Yesterday I found a condom in my son’s Randy’s wallet.
Tony: No kiddin, what did you do?
Darren: Took my 6 iron to him and gave him a good beating. No son of mine uses a condom. When I went into the Amazon I didn’t wear a rubber suit. You go in with what you can carry, you don’t need the Berlin Wall between you Mother Nature . I’m going to have to toughen him up…
Kent: Send him to work in a coal mine in north China. That’s what I did with Chet when he told me he wanted to take Spanish Guitar lessons.
The men continue to smoke, and watch people pass by
A man goes by on a uni cycle juggling live puppies
The men say nothing and continue to smoke
Tony: Yesterday Jan and kids went to visit her mother in the hospice and I had a skinny dip in the pool. When I got out, I saw our gardener Mr Chu looking at me. I felt something stir in me I hadn’t felt in years, and I just went over to him and we got it on. Me and Mr Chu on the back lawn.
Kent: You go tiger, you go.
Darren: Cheaper than going all the way to Asia Tony
They all laugh and continue to smoke
Across the road they watch as a man throws himself into the traffic
He is bounced around under a truck before finally being crushed
The men say nothing and continue to smoke
Finally Darren says
I’d like to see that heart shape design Kent
Kent: (putting out his cigar and stands up and removes his pants)
Tony/Darren: Whoa….cool…good workmanship….
And then a small compact American car passes and suddenly swerves onto the sidewalk between the Hummer and BMW…..Kent is first to see it and it’s hard for him to dodge out of the way because his pants are around his ankles. The men don’t realize that the car is driven by an extremist and it explodes and blows up half the city block.
Last scene:
The funeral for the men
The families are all crying when the three cigar shaped caskets are dropped into the graves.
But no one cries as hard as Mr Chu who is standing at the back of the mourners
Fade out to Bee Gees music and then credits roll
The long shot from camera one is of the outside of a high end cigar shop
Parked in front of the shop
Are a Mercedes sports car, a Hummer and a BMW Suv
Camera pans in
3 men sit on chairs smoking cigars
Kent Deacon is a large man but fit with a flat top buzz cut
Darren Jones has long hair, a little too long for his age and likes gold chains
Tony Spackola is heavy, and hairy and has a pencil moutstache, he sweats a lot
All the men seem to be enjoying their cigars
Kent puffs on his ‘Sandinista’ made fresh, from Cuba
They begin to talk
Kent: You guys ever have trouble with your pubic hair designs?
Darren: I gave up on it long ago, had a Brazilian and I’m done with it
Tony: Every day Kent, I struggle to find the time to work on it
Kent: I just don’t like going to the shop to have it done. I like to do it myself
I’ve shaved a beautiful heart but it took most of the morning and the kids were pounding on the bathroom door yelling at me to hurry up ..we were late for soccer but I think it looks great!
The men continue to smoke and watch people pass by.
Darren: Yesterday I found a condom in my son’s Randy’s wallet.
Tony: No kiddin, what did you do?
Darren: Took my 6 iron to him and gave him a good beating. No son of mine uses a condom. When I went into the Amazon I didn’t wear a rubber suit. You go in with what you can carry, you don’t need the Berlin Wall between you Mother Nature . I’m going to have to toughen him up…
Kent: Send him to work in a coal mine in north China. That’s what I did with Chet when he told me he wanted to take Spanish Guitar lessons.
The men continue to smoke, and watch people pass by
A man goes by on a uni cycle juggling live puppies
The men say nothing and continue to smoke
Tony: Yesterday Jan and kids went to visit her mother in the hospice and I had a skinny dip in the pool. When I got out, I saw our gardener Mr Chu looking at me. I felt something stir in me I hadn’t felt in years, and I just went over to him and we got it on. Me and Mr Chu on the back lawn.
Kent: You go tiger, you go.
Darren: Cheaper than going all the way to Asia Tony
They all laugh and continue to smoke
Across the road they watch as a man throws himself into the traffic
He is bounced around under a truck before finally being crushed
The men say nothing and continue to smoke
Finally Darren says
I’d like to see that heart shape design Kent
Kent: (putting out his cigar and stands up and removes his pants)
Tony/Darren: Whoa….cool…good workmanship….
And then a small compact American car passes and suddenly swerves onto the sidewalk between the Hummer and BMW…..Kent is first to see it and it’s hard for him to dodge out of the way because his pants are around his ankles. The men don’t realize that the car is driven by an extremist and it explodes and blows up half the city block.
Last scene:
The funeral for the men
The families are all crying when the three cigar shaped caskets are dropped into the graves.
But no one cries as hard as Mr Chu who is standing at the back of the mourners
Fade out to Bee Gees music and then credits roll
I heard the news that Michael Jackson had died
I knew I had to get to Klaus’s house
But I was too late
I rushed into his room
Billy Jean was blasting on the stereo
The TV was on
Images of Michael flicked across the screen
Klaus was sitting on his knees and had his back to me
He didn’t know I was there
I screamed out
He turned
There was blood everywhere
In his hand was a box cutter knife
Klaus had tried to shape his nose and chin
Just like Michaels
He had look of pain and despair on his face
I stood and looked at him for a moment
And then thought it best for me to leave
Klaus had some inner demons he needed to work out
I closed the front door of his house
And made sure no one was looking
And I reached down and adjusted the straps on the bathing suit I was wearing
Under my regular clothes
It was a vintage Farah Fawcett suit from her famous poster
I had put it on immediately upon hearing of her death
I’ll wear if for a month or two and mourn privately
Klaus?
I check in on him next week……he’ll be okay
Just as long Billy Ocean doesn’t suddenly die
Then there will be big trouble
I knew I had to get to Klaus’s house
But I was too late
I rushed into his room
Billy Jean was blasting on the stereo
The TV was on
Images of Michael flicked across the screen
Klaus was sitting on his knees and had his back to me
He didn’t know I was there
I screamed out
He turned
There was blood everywhere
In his hand was a box cutter knife
Klaus had tried to shape his nose and chin
Just like Michaels
He had look of pain and despair on his face
I stood and looked at him for a moment
And then thought it best for me to leave
Klaus had some inner demons he needed to work out
I closed the front door of his house
And made sure no one was looking
And I reached down and adjusted the straps on the bathing suit I was wearing
Under my regular clothes
It was a vintage Farah Fawcett suit from her famous poster
I had put it on immediately upon hearing of her death
I’ll wear if for a month or two and mourn privately
Klaus?
I check in on him next week……he’ll be okay
Just as long Billy Ocean doesn’t suddenly die
Then there will be big trouble
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