I saw her and knew I had to meet her
Once she met me she would love me
And we'd be together forever and ever and ever and ever
She was pulling out in her car
I'd just bump her car a little, enough that' she would stop
This was my chance, I had been waiting for hours
I hit the gas
I guess I was a little too excited
The impact was more than I expected
I got out and started laughing quite loud
I was walking towards her door
‘That was a little bump wasn’t it?’
‘No big deal, I’m really sorry, I can cover everything?’
I sounded so confident, so in control, so cool
Then I looked in her car window
Her face obviously smashed pretty hard against the steering wheel
And I could smell burning coffee
She looked up at me
Her face was melting with first degree burns from a coffee she must have been drinking
She started to scream
A horrid disfigured mouth emitting this awful sound like an animal just before it dies
I ran back to my car and drove away
She was in no condition to remember anything about me
Forget about coffee face, she’s history
I saw my new love today
She rides her bike everyday
I’ll just bump her with the car
Nothing serious, just a tap
And we’ll be together for ever and ever and ever
Life really is grand some times