I took myself out to dinner

Then I went home

And gave myself the date rape drug

And then undressed myself in an inappropriate manner

Before I passed out

I woke up naked and disorientated the next morning

I called the police

They came over and questioned me

When I finished the telling the details

The cops told me I was a complete idiot

And to stop wasting their time

They left

But not before I put a ‘kick me’ sign on one of their backs

I watched out my window as they walked to their car

The one cop suddenly kicked the other in the arse

The other cop turned angrily

They began to argue

Both pulled out their guns and they shot at each other

Both fell to the ground, mortally wounded

I thought of calling the cops but that would have been redundant

So I lay down and started to cry

Wondering how the sequence of the events over the last 12 hours

Had led to me becoming the victim