The elevator came to a halt

We all stood in silence

I made my move

‘Okay, let’s not panic’

I spoke clearly and loudly

I wanted to be leader here

To be understood

‘We’re going to have to make decisions and make them quickly’

I loosened my tie and pulled it up around my head making a headband

I pulled out my pocket knife and cut my casual slacks into shorts

‘Listen up, over there will be the latrine, over there will be our sleeping area’

I was moving about the elevator, I was cooking, I was at maximum volume

A man on a mission

‘Cowboy’ I said pointing to a young handsome man

I nicked named him ‘Cowboy’ because I wanted to give everyone a nickname

It sounds cool and leaders always give people nicknames

My nickname at school was ‘Feces’ but that’s another story

‘Stand over there and check the food situation’

‘Oprah, see if you can round up things for a shelter’

Oprah was an older lady who looked like she had had weight issues all her life

‘And you, Madonna, we need to talk’

She was beautiful, yet strong, yet subtle, yet dangerous

I stood and looked her straight in the eye

I was only going to get one shot at this

‘It’s our responsibility to ensure the human race continues’

She held my stare

‘We don’t have time to get to know each other…we must procreate now so our children can tell the others the story, they’ll need hero’s in the new world’

Her lips were so full and her hair smelled of freshly cut watermelon

‘Everyone else, look away, Madonna and I have to do this before we’re too weak’

I ripped off my shirt, closed my eyes and leaned forward to kiss her

The mace was warm on my face when it hit but I opened my eyes in surprise which I shouldn’t have done

The burning was intense

I fell to my knees screaming

Suddenly the elevator started moving

The doors opened and my fellow captives quickly left

I was still in agony on the floor

Later, after being questioned by buildings security staff

I thought about what I had done

Was I proud of myself?

Did I do the right thing?

Those questions are too difficult for me to answer

So I went home and drank myself unconscious with some liquid plant food