I entered the Iditarod

It was a hasty decision but I entered

I arrived in Alaska with my team of dogs

And a plan

To win it all

On the first night it was really cold

And it was really dark

And lonely on the trail

And I panicked a little

I stopped

And ate all my dogs

After I ate the first one

I just figured I might as well continue

By dawn I was done

When the officials found out

They disqualified me

They were quite upset

So were the animal rights people

And they sent me packing

I’m on my way home now

I was thinking

My neighbor has a poodle

I’ve never tasted poodle

After the stress of those angry dog loving people

Screaming at me and trying to kill me

I’ll have something to look forward to now