“Can anyone fly a plane?!’ the stewardess screamed
As she ran frantically down the aisle
I jumped up and yelled ‘I can’
And ran as fast I could to the cockpit
I don’t know why I volunteered
I can’t fly a plane
But something told me to do it
This was going to be my day to shine
A life time full of despair and depression
Would be wiped away in one day
This was going to be my moment
I sat in cockpit, the stewardess leaning over my shoulder
She smelled like the sea
The radio cackled ‘this is the tower can you hear me?’
I sat totally frozen in panic staring out the window at a limitless view of the sky
Another voice, ‘Is everything okay? I’m a pilot if you need help’
I started to cry, I couldn’t fly the plane…it’s huge you know
A man, let’s call him Mr. Adventure and part-time model
Pulled me out of the seat and pushed me out of the cockpit
I cried all the way back to my seat, who was I fooling
I would not and could not ever land that plane safely
Of course everything went fine
Our Super Pilot landed the plane beautifully
And I saw the stewardess kiss him romantically
I was still crying and I snuck out the back of the plane
Away from the press and fanfare
I was then coerced by one the baggage handlers
We had unprotected sex in a luggage container
I left the airport more depressed than ever
I’m never flying again………